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August 3, 2003
Sermon: "Living to Last a Lifetime"
Scripture: 2 Samuel 11:26-12:13
Reverend Larry Gerber

Like so many addicts today, David didn't think he had a problem, and he certainly didn't want any help. It fell to Nathan the prophet to schedule a nonjudgmental confrontation and tell a tale that trapped David in his sin.

MYOB - Mind Your Own Business.

That's the response most give when on the receiving end of unwanted advice. "Mind your own business." "Get off my back — off my case — outta my life!"

How do you help a person who doesn't want help? Like the person addicted to alcohol, or hooked on drugs. Whatever the dependency, some people simply don't believe they have a problem. The only way to get them to accept reality and begin the process of recovery is to convene a confrontation. Professionals call it "an intervention."

Like Christopher, for example, on The Sopranos, the HBO hit drama series about a New Jersey mob family. Christopher is running around high, again, desperately trying to score some more heroin. He gets involved in a drug deal that goes awry, and ends up getting carjacked, robbed and beaten. The mobster Tony steps in and schedules an intervention. Why? Because Christopher's drug habit is getting in the way of business. How can Tony trust him to whack guys, deliver drugs, smuggle dope and launder money when he's high on crack? So Tony schedules a meeting. Unfortunately, it doesn't go well.

But many interventions do. Like the one in 2 Samuel 11 and 12. In this case, it's Nathan who calls a meeting. Nathan is the facilitator, and David — the adulterous and murderous head of the family of Jesse — is the subject of the intervention. Here's a guy who apparently sleeps well at night, who thinks nothing of spending time with his neighbor's wife, and who later orders a hit on the husband, telling his hit man, Joab, "Do not let this matter trouble you, for the sword devours now one and now another" (2 Samuel 11:25).

In other words, "Forget about it!"

No way Nathan was going to forget about it. It fell to Nathan the prophet to schedule an intervention. The confrontation begins with a story. "There were two men in a certain city," says Nathan, "the one rich and the other poor. The rich man had very many flocks and herds; but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb" (12:1-2). The little ewe lamb was "like a daughter" to the poor man, says Nathan. He would feed it at his table and let it drink from his very own cup. Then one day a traveler comes to visit the rich man, and the rich man decides he needs to slaughter an animal to feed his guest. Does he take an animal from his own flocks and herds to fix a meal for the traveler? Noooo! He's got plenty of lambs to choose from, but instead he takes the poor man's lamb and kills it and cooks it for dinner.

David reacts with irritation and anger. "As the Lord lives," he shouts, "the man who has done this deserves to die" (v. 5).

Nathan says to David, "You are the man!" (v. 7). David is so busted. He sees reality clearly for the very first time. Nathan's intervention, which used a story as a tool of nonjudgmental confrontation, enables David to see the truth about himself and even pronounce judgment on himself. It is when he sees himself in the story that David realizes he has a problem, and begins the process of recovery. Just a few verses later, David honestly confesses, "I have sinned against the LORD" (v. 13).

Here's the deal. We're too afraid today in the church to have a conversation about sin. We're afraid to be confrontational. We're scared of being judgmental. Yet, clearly, there are times when a conversation about sin, about hurtful behavior, is in the best interest of the offending person, the aggrieved parties and the health of the church.

We need to develop a protocol, an intervention convention. There are times when we have to be willing to confront sin and intervene in the lives of people who are self-destructing and spiraling out of control.

According to author Theodore Zeldin, such conversations have the power to change our lives. In his book called Conversation (New York: Hidden Spring Books, 2000), he says that "real conversation catches fire" and changes people. It involves more than sending or receiving information, and it requires that we talk in such a way that we are willing to be changed by the conversation. Zeldin believes that real conversation is at the very root of creativity, and it is even better than laws in helping to change our mind-sets.

That's what the prophet Nathan discovered. If he had simply delivered God's anti-adultery law to David, the prophet might have been thrown out on his ear. But in a little conversation about a rich man and a poor man and a lamb, Nathan helped David to change both his mind-set and his life.

"Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits," observes Theodore Zeldin. "When minds meet, they don't just exchange facts: They transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them, engage in new trains of thought.

. Jesus once had a conversation with a lawyer who knew all about the law of God, and he felt that he was well on his way to eternal life by maintaining the proper boundaries between men and women, priests and Israelites, Jews and Samaritans.

The gospel of Luke tells us that the lawyer wants to justify himself and his religious practices, and so he says to Jesus, "Who is my neighbor?" (Luke 10:29). Jesus tells him the story of the Good Samaritan.

How often should I forgive, one wondered, as many as seven times? No, said Jesus, "seventy- seven times" (Matthew 18:21-22).

"Who is righteous?" asked others. It's not the people you might expect, replied Jesus. The righteous are the tax collectors — not the Pharisees — who beat their breasts and confess their sins, trusting in God instead of in themselves (Luke 18:9-14).

Shouldn't we just throw in the towel, since there is so much that causes us to lose heart? No, said Jesus, be like the persistent widow who keeps bringing her case to the unjust judge. Justice will come, Jesus promised, so keep on praying to God (Luke 18:1-8).

And — to return to David — The story of David's confession and repentance is well-known.

In every case, change occurred through meaningful conversation and confrontation. Left to themselves, people tend to fall into sin — discriminating against others, failing to forgive, showing self-righteousness and giving up.

We can't assume that there aren't those in our congregations who haven't walked where David walked in his hour of disobedience. The time has come for us to take a stand against sin, as Nathan did. And when we make such a move, we'll find that the key to a successful intervention is being objective without being callous, being judgmental without being condemning and caring without sentimentality.

Christians don't have to break skulls, like Tony Soprano. Instead, we can open people's minds with a God-centered conversation, as Nathan and Jesus did.

As we prepare to share Holy Communion with each other, let each of remember our sins that we have committed; let us remember the things that we have done that have hurt others; let us remember the things that we have not done that we should have done. And let us remember what Jesus did on the cross for each of us. We can be healed; we can be forgiven; we can live to last a life time, if we so choose.

Let us bind ourselves together in Christian love and fellowship that prepares us for above.

Let me know what you think. The church Email is: SLUMC@att.net, Phone: 480.895.8766