April 25, 2010
Rev. Jim O’Neal, Senior Pastor
(480) 895-8766
Matthew 5:21-26 NRSV
21“You have heard
that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and
‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’
22But I say to you that if you are angry with
a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a
brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You
fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.
23So when you are offering your gift at the
altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled
to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. 25Come to terms quickly with your accuser
while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over
to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into
prison. 26Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the
last penny.
A.
Introduction
1. Fight in car
a. Has your anger ever
caused you to do something foolish or even stupid? A woman named Mary confessed to such a thing
in Reader’s Digest magazine a few years ago.
She and her husband Bill got into an argument at a party at a friend’s
house. Once in their car heading home
they continued the verbal fight and the nasty words began to fly! Mary said that she really let Bill have
it. He retaliated by saying something
that he knew would be especially hurtful to her. At that point she shouted at the top of her
lungs, “Stop the car, stop the car and let me out now!” Bill did as she said and Mary hopped out of
the car. She wrote these words
concerning her experience: “I looked
around me and it was an industrial area.
Trash was everywhere crunching under my feet like a blanket of
unwelcome, dirty snow, the air was permeated with a disgusting odor, and I
could see what appeared to be a homeless guy crouching by the door of a
warehouse and puffing out a huge cloud of blue smoke. I jumped back into our car and sheepishly
said, ‘Take me to a better neighborhood!’”
b. Both of them
laughed out loud, and then they apologized to each other, and drove home. Anger can cause us to do silly things and
sometimes even worse.
2. Road Rage
a. The following story
comes to us from
b. If we allow it,
anger can cause us to do terrible, hurtful and even cruel things to others and
ourselves. That is why we must learn to
deal with anger. We need an antidote to
the poisonous actions that anger can generate.
This morning and next Sunday, I will share three truths to embrace and
follow that help us to deal with anger in a positive way. This morning I will share one truth and next
week two more.
B.
Deal with your inner feelings in a positive way.
1. Today’s Scripture: Matthew 5:21-22a
a. In today’s
Scripture lesson, Jesus is teaching us a new way to think and to live. He says:
“You have heard that it was said to those of
ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to
judgment.’ But I say to you that if you
are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment…” (Matthew
5:21-22a NRSV)
b. Jesus is concerned
with our outer actions and this is especially true of angry actions. Our Lord in Parables such as the Last
Judgment and the Good Samaritan tells us that how we treat others is
important. However, correctly in today’s
Scripture Jesus points out that we must deal with our inner feelings, because
they are the driving force behind our actions.
An outer angry act is caused by the inner emotion of anger. This is not a condemnation of feelings or
emotions. Everyone gets angry at some
time or another. Anger is a normal
emotion. It is how you deal with these
feelings that are important. When you
are upset with someone it is best first of all to pause and get in touch with
those feelings inside of you before you act.
2. Ron McCay
a. Ron McCay was a
member of the
b. Ron said that this
might go on for several minutes or even sessions. Usually, he could finally get them to state
that they were angry. At that point
there was some hope for them, and he would help them explore why they were angry. And on some occasions he could get them to
dig deeper and confess the real emotion behind this animosity and rage. Many of these men had been abused as children
and were emotionally scared, powerless little boys. If they could get to the point of dealing
with these feelings of fear and inadequacy there was real hope for them. The few who did open up and deal with their
feelings found their lives changing for the better. These were the men who found inward healing and
the ones who learned how to deal with their emotions in a more constructive and
life affirming way.
3. Anger is a choice (From the book, ANGER IS A CHOICE by Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips.)
a.
In the book, ANGER IS A CHOICE, the authors Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips
tell us that we need to deal with our anger.
Anger is not necessarily bad. It
is our response to hurt and wrong. They
give an illustration: Pain is, also, an
emotion. We typically see it as a bad
thing. That is especially true as we
think of those battling extreme back pain or the horrific pain of cancer. But think about this: You’re visiting a friend’s remodeled home and
as you admire her new kitchen you inadvertently put your hand on top of her
glass stove top and it is on! “Now let
us ask, ‘Is the pain we first feel a friend or an enemy?’ At first it is a friend. It tells us to remove the hand from the
burner. If, however, we leave the hand
on the burner, our pain becomes our first, second, and third degree enemy.
b.
Our emotions are similar to the physical pain that we sometimes
experience. The painful emotions of
fear, anger, and depression are our friends… at first. They become our first, second, and third
degree emotional enemies if we don’t listen to them. When we feel physical pain, we have a
choice. We can choose to let the hand
burn, or choose to remove the hand from danger.
The same is true for our emotions.
We have a choice. We can choose
to listen to them and experience health and healing.” When we don’t deal with our emotion of anger
in a constructive way we end up hurting ourselves and/or others. The best approach these authors state to
dealing with your feelings of ire and rancor is to “learn how to make positive
choices of what to do with your anger.”
4. Mamie Mobley (From the book, RACE by Studs Terkel.)
a.
Mamie Mobley made a choice not to let anger destroy her or lead her to
do cruel things to others. The year was
1956 and Mamie Mobley’s only son was brutally murdered. Her son, Emmett, was visiting relatives and
friends in
b.
This tragic event would leave a mark on Mrs. Mobley. Years after the tragedy she was asked, “Don’t
you harbor any bitterness toward these two men?” Her reply reveals the depth of her
faith: “From the very beginning that’s
the question that has always been raised.
What they had done was not for me to punish and it was not for me to go
around hugging hate to myself, because hate would destroy me. It wouldn’t hurt them. I did not wish them dead. I did not wish them in jail. If I had to, I could take their four little
children and I could raise those children as if they were my own and I could
have loved them.” Mrs. Mobley remembers
her son when she sees children playing in the neighborhood or listens to her
friends talk about their grandchildren; something she will never
experience. Mamie Mobley says this about
her faith: “I was brought up in the
c.
I don‘t know if I could be as forgiving as Mrs. Mobley. However, she is right about this truth: Allowing feelings of anger, bitterness and
hatred to fester in your life will eventually destroy your life, and not the
one you hate. Jesus wants you to conquer
not only the outer act, but the inner emotion.
He for your sake and the sake of others wants you to do this: Honestly look at your feelings, confess your
pain, and open up to His love, forgiveness and healing. Then He calls you to seek and pursue actions
that are healing, reconciling and that build you and others up and do not hurt
or tear people down.
C
Conclusion
1. Today, I began a sermon series on
anger, and have shared an important first step to keep us from doing hurtful
things to ourselves or others: Deal with
your inner feelings in a positive way.
2. Next Sunday, we hear two more
truths. One is something to embrace and
the other is a call to positive action from Jesus:
a. Understand
that unresolved anger is a spiritual problem.
b.
Work at loving others as God loves you!
1. Deal with your inner feelings in a
positive way.
2. Understand that unresolved anger is a
spiritual problem.
3. Work at loving others as God loves you!
Matthew 5:21-26 NRSV
21“You have heard that it was said to those
of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable
to judgment.’ 22But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you
will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be
liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the
hell of fire. 23So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember
that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled
to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. 25Come to terms quickly with your accuser
while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over
to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into
prison. 26Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the
last penny.