Good Grief! Part 1
Sermon Notes
April 27, 2008
Rev. Jim O’Neal, Senior
Pastor
Matthew 5:4 NRSV
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4 NCV
4Those who are sad now are happy, because God will comfort them.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18 NRSV
13But we
do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have
died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14For since we believe that Jesus
died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will
bring with him those who have died.
I Thessalonians 4:13-14 NCV
13Brothers
and sisters, we want you to know about those Christians who have died so you
will not be sad, as others who have no hope.
14We believe that Jesus died and that he rose again. So, because of him, God will raise with Jesus
those who have died.
A.
Introduction
1.
Cat on the roof!
a. Carol went away to college. She called home and her little brother Bud answered
the phone. She said, “Hello”, and then
asked about the family pet, a cat she loved dearly. “How’s the cat?” she asked. Bud said, “She’s dead.” “What!” Carol responded. Then she went on to say: “That’s no way to tell a person bad
news. Why didn’t you just say, ‘The
cat’s on the roof.’ The next day you
could say we tried to get her, but she fell off the roof. Then you could tell me she was doing badly
and died.” Carol paused and asked, “By
the way, how’s dad?” Bud said, “He’s on
the roof.”
b. We all face grief. We obviously deal with grief when a family
member or friend dies. However, we also
have grief when we face other losses such as, divorce, broken friendship, loss
of job, missing out on a promotion, moving, illness, loss
of abilities, aging issues, and family disharmony. Grief is the loss of someone or something
that we love or care for greatly.
Today’s message begins a two part series on dealing with grief.
2.
Today’s Scripture: I
Thessalonians 4:13-14
a. Today’s Scripture lesson says: “Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about those Christians
who have died so you will not be sad, as others who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and that he rose
again. So, because of him, God will
raise with Jesus those who have died.” (I Thessalonians 4:13-14 NCV)
b. In Seminary one of my professors
translated I Thessalonians 4:13 as follows:
“Grieve not as those who have no hope.” Christians do grieve and should
grieve. However, there is a difference
between the way a believer and a non-believer grieve. As believers we have the hope of the
resurrection. We know Jesus Christ. And the same Lord who can transform a “Bad
Friday” into a Good Friday is the same Lord who can transform our sad grief
into “Good Grief.” Today I lift up two
things about good grief.
B.
Good grief does not deny feelings.
1. Dog bite.
a. Years ago, before the advent of a
cure, a woman was bit by a mad dog. The
probability was that she would get rabies and die. Her doctor told her she should make out her
will. She sat down at a desk with pen,
inkbottle and paper. She wrote and wrote
and wrote. She was there for hours and
finally the doctor said, “That sure is a long will you’re making.” She snorted, “Will! Forget that!
I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite!”
b. I
would not recommend that. However, in
the midst of losses and sorrow I do encourage people to get in touch with their
feelings, because that is the only way we work through our difficult times.
2. Ron McKay
a.
Ron McKay is a friend from
b. A
lot of us as Christians have the mistaken idea that we have to be spiritually
big and brave and strong and thus cannot be sad, or have doubts, or anger, or
weep over the death of a loved one. This
is not Biblical. God created grief, as a
tool to help us work through the loss of a cherished loved one or an important
something in our life. These feelings
that we often call “sad feelings” are all a part of the grief process to lead
us to healing. So good
grief does not deny feelings.
3. “I like you, daddy!”
a.
Mother was away on business, and daddy now had sole
responsibility of taking care of little Amy.
Dad fixed what he thought was a nice meal. Amy just played with the food on her
plate. Daddy said, “Amy, eat your pork
chop.” Amy said, “I don’t like pork
chops.” Daddy said, “Then, why don’t you
eat your succotash?” Again Amy
responded, “I don’t like suc-o-trash.” “What about the mashed potatoes?” dad
inquired. “I don’t like those either,”
she said. Her frustrated father
commented, “Amy, I guess you don’t like anything. Is there anything you like?” Amy looked up and said, “Well, I like you
daddy.”
b.
Young Amy was in touch with her feelings. Children are often very in touch with their
feelings, and very willing to let us know what they think or feel. And as a parent I might add this did not
always make for smooth relations at home.
As adults, however, we have a tendency to hold things in. As Christian believers we, also, sometimes
wrongly think that we should not have the sad feelings of grief. This is not so. Bible characters wept. The shortest verse in the various English
translations of the Bible is “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35 RSV) Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died. This shows us that grief is ok. God created the feelings of grief, as tools
to help us work through the loss of a cherished loved one or an important
something in our life. These feelings
that we often call “sad feelings” are all a part of the grief process to lead
us to healing. Again, good grief does
not deny feelings.
C.
Good grief reaches out to others.
1. Stay
calm, Jimmy!
a. A young father was pushing a shopping
cart through the isles of a supermarket.
His baby boy was acting up, screaming and crying. Under his breath the young father kept
muttering, “Easy Jimmy, calm down now.
Everything’s going to be all right, boy.
Come on, Jimmy, don’t get upset.”
A lady customer commented approvingly to the young father, “You are very
patient with Jimmy, your little boy.”
The young father looked up glumly and said, “Lady, I’m Jimmy.”
b. During times of loss you may well talk
to yourself. But don’t try to solve it
all by yourself. It is especially at
times of grief that you need to reach out to others for help.
2. My
brother’s got problems!
a. A man walked into a psychiatrist’s
office. On his head instead of a hat was
half a carved out cantaloupe. Around
each ear he had wrapped a piece of raw bacon.
The psychiatrist stared for just a moment and then said, “Please have a
seat.” There was a long pause and then
the counselor asked, “Is there something you would like to tell me?” “Yes,” said the man, “my brother has got
problems.”
b. We all have problems. We all have times of grief. At those moments reach out to others for
help. Talk to someone who cares. Reach out to others when you are going
through sorrow and losses. It’s your
pain, but be willing to get the help you need to deal with it.
3.
“Daddy’s never seen me with a broken arm.”
a. Our adventurous little friend Amy fell
off the “monkey bars” at school and broke her arm. Mother came and took her to the hospital
emergency room. The doctor put her arm
in a cast and Amy got to spend the rest of the day at home. Mother bought her some special treats and
tended to her every need. Grandma came
over with a toy and lavished love on little Amy. Then at about 5:00 o’clock Amy went out and
sat on the front porch. Mother went out
and asked, “Amy what are you doing out here?”
She said, “I’m waiting for daddy.
He’s never seen me with a broken arm before.”
b. Amy just wanted some love from her
daddy, too! Children seem to understand
this better than we adults. The Bible
tells us to reach out in our grief. When
Lazarus became very ill and was dying, his two sisters sent a message to Jesus
hoping that the Lord would visit them: “Lord, your dear friend is sick.” (John 11:3 TEV) When you are hurting or
filled with sorrow that is the time to reach out to some other person. We need other people to help us work through
our grief. We need someone else at times
just to sit and weep with us. During
times of grief, even if you have to force yourself, reach out and talk to a
friend, a relative, a pastor, doctor, or counselor. Be open to a visit by one of our Stephen
Ministers.
D.
Conclusion
1.
Country Music in reverse!
a. Some years ago when recorded music
came on tape or records there was a lot of publicity concerning subliminal
messages contained in rock and roll music.
Some folks claimed that if you played certain rock recordings in reverse
that you heard vulgar words and satanic phrases. A comic once joked that he played some
country music backwards and the singer found his stolen pickup truck, his dead
dog came back to life, and his estranged wife returned home to be with him
forever!
b. Now I cannot guarantee that all of
your losses will be so restored. Death,
separation, estrangement, physical problems, and other losses are a part of
life. However, I can promise you hope,
if you follow these truths concerning good grief.
2.
Recap
a. Good grief does not deny feelings
b. Good grief reaches out to others.
c. And next week we will talk about how
good grief is patient and trusts in God!
Good Grief!
1. Good grief does not deny feelings
2. Good grief reaches out to others.
3. Good grief is patient.
4. Good grief trusts God!
Matthew 5:4 NRSV
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will
be comforted.
Matthew 5:4 NCV
4Those who are sad now are happy, because
God will comfort them.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18
NRSV
13But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and
sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who
have no hope. 14For since we
believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so,
through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died.
I Thessalonians 4:13-14
NCV
13Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about those
Christians who have died so you will not be sad, as others who have no
hope. 14We believe that Jesus
died and that he rose again. So, because
of him, God will raise with Jesus those who have died.