An Antidote for Anger, Part 2

Sermon Notes:  May 2, 2010 Rev. Jim O’Neal, Senior Pastor

Sun Lakes United Methodist Church, 9248 E. Riggs Road, Sun Lakes, Arizona 85248 - (480) 895-8766

Matthew 5:38-48 NRSV

38“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’  39But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer.  But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.  42Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.  43You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.  46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

 

A.  Introduction

     1.  B-52

          a.  After his release, one of the Americans who had been held captive in Iran was asked by a reporter this question:  “Would you ever go back to Iran?”  The man replied, “Yes, in a B-52 Bomber.”

          b.  We understand his anger.  We, also, understand that anger can lead us to do hurtful things to others.  Anger can lead us in response to our hurts and wrongs to return evil for evil and to hurt other people.  We need an antidote to the poisonous words and toxic deeds that animosity and ire produce.

     2.  Bug Bomb

          a.  In addition, as I said last week anger very often hurts you more than it does the one you are angry at.  Mildred McConnell was boiling mad, because her kitchen was overrun with cockroaches.  She had been fighting them for a year.  Mildred had sprayed and sprayed dozens of cans of bug spray.  She had the pest control company come half a dozen times and still the filthy insects came back.  One evening she could not take it any longer.  She drove to the nearest store and bought two cases of spray insecticide.  She closed the windows of her kitchen and emptied the contents of fifteen cans of bug spray.  The pilot light on her stove ignited the fumes which exploded, killing Mildred and burning her house to the ground.

          b.  In her anger she got rid of not only the bugs, but ended up killing herself.  In the end she hurt herself far more than the bugs she detested.  When we hold on to animosity that is what often happens.  We hurt our self the most.  Clearly we need to learn how to deal with our anger in a constructive way.

     3.  Henrich Hein

          a.  Heinrich Hein once wrote:  “My nature is the most peaceful in the world.  All I ask is a simple cottage, a decent bed, good food, some flowers in front of my window, and a few trees beside my door.  Then if God wanted to make me wholly happy, he would let me enjoy the spectacle of six or seven of my enemies dangling from those trees.  I would forgive them all wrongs they have done to me… forgive them from the bottom of my heart, for we must forgive our enemies.  But not until they are hanged!”

          b.  Last week I talked about how anger is a normal human feeling that we all have in response to the hurts and wrongs of life.  It is not necessarily good or bad.  It is just a feeling.  The important thing is what you do with this feeling both inside of you and outside in terms of your actions or response.  I encouraged you and me to deal with our inner feelings in a positive way. 

          c.  Today, Mr. Heinrich Hein reminds us of just how hard it is to let go of our anger and forgive and seek reconciliation with others.  I remind us of the consequences of suppressing or dealing with your anger in a negative way.  It hurts, hinders and sometimes destroys relationships.  All of us have been guilty at some time of allowing anger to sever or strain the loving ties of kith and kin.  This is true for our relationships with others and God.  Last week, I reminded us that unresolved anger is a spiritual problem.  It causes separation between you and God.  I, also, stated that God calls you to love others as He loves you.  As I prepared this message I decided to focus this more specifically on the call to forgive others as God has forgiven you and me.  There is someone here in worship today that needs to mend their relationship with God.  And there is someone here today who knows that they are being nudged by God to seek reconciliation with some other person.

 

B.  Understand that unresolved anger is a spiritual problem.

     1.  Two Sisters

          a.  Amy and Jennifer, two sisters, spent the day fighting with each other.  Mother was glad when it was time for them to go to bed.  As usual they knelt beside their beds with mommy between them to say their night time prayers.  “Dear God,” eight year old Jennifer began, “Bless daddy and mommy, bless our cat and our dog.”  Then she stopped.  Her mother gently prodded, “Didn’t you forget somebody?”  She glared at her six year old sister and added, “And, oh yes, God, bless my ex-sister, Amy.  Amen.” 

          b.  Broken relationships cannot be so glibly tossed aside.  This is especially true of important interpersonal associations.  After all, God created us for community with him and others.  We need family and friends.  Broken relationships tear at the very reason for our existence as God’s creatures. 

     2.  Matthew 5:23-25a

          a.  Jesus tells us:  “So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24 NRSV)

          b.  The relationships that we have with each other are that important.  Your relationship with others has a bearing on your relationship with God.  Some would ask, “How can you expect God to forgive you when you hold grudges and are unwilling to reconcile with someone who has wronged you?”  That may well be so, but this is what I believe:  While God is always willing to forgive, when you hold and nourish anger and hatred you make your heart a place that God who is holy will not dwell.  It is no wonder that the Lord Jesus tells His followers:  “Make friends quickly with your accuser…” (Matthew 5:25a RSV)  Many people today struggle with forgiveness, and yet the truth is that you cannot become the person Jesus intends you to become until you are able to forgive the wrongs of others and to seek reconciliation.  Unresolved anger separates you not only from others, but from God.  Is there a relationship you need to bring healing to for the sake of your relationship with God and that person?

 

C.  Work at forgiving others as God has forgiven you!

      1. Leo Buscaglia  (From the Book:  BORN TO LOVE by Felice Leonardo “Leo” Buscaglia, 1992, p. 202)

          a.  Author, professor and lecturer, Leo Buscaglia writes of observing two children on a playground having an argument.  One said to the other, “You’re stupid!”  The other kid replied, “Well, so are you!”  “Not as stupid as you!” the first one said.  “Oh, yeah, that’s what you think!” the second one retorted.  When Buscaglia passed by the playground not more than ten minutes later, these two kids were playing together again, having forgotten the whole thing.  Buscaglia would write:  “No brooding, no wounded egos, no blame, no dredging up the past, no recriminations.”  There was a brief exchange of angry feelings, an even briefer cooling off period, and all was forgiven.  “Children are certainly much more forgiving than adults,  Leo Buscaglia concludes.  “ Somewhere in the process of growing up we seem to have become experts at holding grudges, cradling fragile egos and unforgiving natures.”

          b.  Anger can lead us to berate others, boorishly brood, and even break the bonds of blood or brotherhood.  Brothers vow eternal enmity.  Sisters no longer speak.  Friends depart in rancor.  It is a beautiful thing when love leads us to heal and mend a broken relationship.  It is a lovely thing because it reminds us of our relationship with God, who truly is the author of love.  Once our connection to God was broken, but because of God’s great love for us, He took the initiative in and through Jesus to reach across our human created divide and bring us back to Himself.  And that is what God wishes each of us to do.

      2.  Marriage of Lockwood and Cramer 

                       (From the Book:  HE WAS A MIDWESTERN BOY ON HIS OWN by Bob Greene, 1992, pp. 237-239)

          a.  On their first day of college way back in 1968, Marsha Lockwood and Michael Cramer met.  They were both freshman at the University of Massachusetts.  They liked each other immediately.  They learned they came from neighboring towns, and that they were only weeks apart in age.  They had much in common, both played instruments in their high school marching bands, and their families had friends in common.  As they began to date they discovered that their grandfathers worked in the same office building.  One was an accountant and the other an insurance man.  The two grandfathers were in their seventies.  When the grandfathers were young boys they had gone to the same school.  They had been good friends all during their childhood.  In the 1920’s they had a feud.  It was over a business matter.  Hyman Brodsky and Louis Cramer were furious with each other.  They stopped speaking, and sadly did not speak to each other for over fifty years.  When they would be in the elevator with other business persons, they would talk to others, but never to each other.  They would not even look at each other.  If they happened  to find themselves with just the two of them in the elevator, the two former boyhood friends rode in silence. 

          b.  Meanwhile, the romance of Marsha and Michael was growing more and more serious.  In 1974 they became engaged.  As Hyman Brodsky and Louis Cramer were riding upstairs in the elevator, one of them broke the silence by casually saying out loud:  “Well, it looks like the kids are going to get married.”  The other replied, “Yes, it looks that way.”  The silence of fifty plus years was finally broken!  A month before the wedding the two grandfathers were invited to an engagement party.  It was the first time they had been at a social occasion together in over fifty years.  Marsha recalls, “They were sitting next to each other all through the party.  They were talking about their days in school back when they were boys.  It was as if no time had passed at all.”  Their friendship seemed to grow immediately.  Both had forgotten what the original argument had been about.  It was a business disagreement, but neither of them recalled the details.  Marsha and Michael were married; Hy and Louie were restored to being best friends, and continued to be so for the remaining years of their lives.  Marsha kept thinking that she and her new husband had changed history in a way; not that they had changed world history; but by meeting and falling in love, they had changed the personal histories of their two grandfathers, Hy and Louie, and somehow that seemed very important to her. 

          c.  Sometimes it happens this way with a fairy tale ending.  Usually, though reconciliation is hard work.  Someone has to take the first step.  Someone has to reach out to the other with an olive branch.  Someone has to first say, “I’m sorry.”  Someone has to take the initiative, just as God in Christ took the initiative with us.  Isn’t it time for you to be reconciled?  Jesus gave His life that we might be reunited with God.  That is how much God loves you.  How do you respond to this love?  Now Jesus is not asking you to give your life to forgive and be reconnected with that family member or former friend.  But He is asking you to remember His love for you and to love and forgive others as He has forgiven you.  Hear His words to you:  “Go at once and make peace with your brother…” (Matthew 5:24b TEV)  This week stop putting it off, take the initiative, reach out in love, and seek to be reconciled with someone to whom you have become estranged.

 

D  Conclusion:  Today, I again talked about the issue of anger, and suggested two more truths concerning God’s way for us to deal with this emotion.  From last week we remember all three truths:

     1.  Deal with your inner feelings in a positive way.

     2.  Understand that unresolved anger is a spiritual problem.

     3.  Work at forgiving others as God has forgiven you!

An Antidote for Anger

 

1.  Deal with your inner feelings in a positive way.

 

2.  Understand that unresolved anger is a spiritual problem.

 

3.  Work at forgiving others as God has forgiven you!

 

 

 

 

Matthew 5:38-48 NRSV

38“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’  39But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer.  But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; 40and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; 41and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.  42Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.  43You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  44But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.  46For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  47And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?  Do not even the Gentiles do the same?  48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

 

Matthew 5:21-26 NRSV

21“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’  22But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.  23So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.  25Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.  26Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.